A Moment of Your Time...

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Self-reflection and change is the real way to "Be Best"

I have spent most of my young adult life trying to explain to people that we are never as good as we can be, and our true potential has never been reached. I know that I can always be better, that I can always improve, and that the best version of myself has yet to come. We should always be striving to reach that upper echelon, and when we actually reach it, that is when we can truly "Be Best". I have heard it many times over the years, and truthfully, I have said it about individuals many times in my life: "That's just how they are." Most of the time (but not always), we use this to make excuses for someone exhibiting poor traits and shitty behavior. For instance, "he gets like that" or "she has always done it this way" is often used to describe someone with a bad attitude or someone that is so stuck in their ways that they refuse to try something different. The real question is, why do we allow people to be that way? Why do we let people ...

Find Value in Your Differences

We have been told many things about relationships over the years, but the one thing no one can seem to agree on is what is best for a couple: two like minds or two polar opposites. We have always been told that "opposites attract", but then how many couples do we see that are "exactly alike"? So, which is best? Who is more likely to "make it"? Truth be told, dating and subsequently finding the "right person" is a total shit-show. Most people will date multiple people, and some will be great while others will be a nightmare. If you set out actively looking for "the one", you might want to rethink your strategy. If you spend too much time trying to figure out whether you are too different or too much alike, you are likely going to end up alone with nine cats that are certainly nothing like you. If you want to actually be happy, learn to enjoy all of the differences as well as the similarities. I think a lot about how my wife and I end...

The broken family myth

Let me know if you have heard this before: "divorce is damaging for children". How about, "remarrying is confusing for kids"? Finally, have you heard something like, "broken families can break the life of a child"? Starting to sound familiar? One more question: does it sound like complete bullshit to you? I am not sure where we got this idea of 'broken families', but maybe it is time we reassess. Broken families aren't the ones where parents are separated; broken families are the ones where parents are still together despite their words and actions saying they shouldn't be. Look, I am not saying that divorce and separation is the right choice or the best choice for all situations, nor am I saying that it should be the first option for parents or couples in general. If a situation is able to be saved and would genuinely be best kept together, I am all for working things out as commitments are made to each other for better or worse. ...

Spare yourself the resolution charade

Here we are again; the end of another year. In just a few days, we will do that one thing we have waited to do all year: put up a new calendar. The best part of starting a new year is getting to do the things we can't do the rest of the year such as write the wrong year on checks for a solid month or debate when to take down the Christmas tree. Better yet, we get to celebrate this extra special occasion by drinking too much alcohol, eating copious amounts of fatty meats, and laughing hysterically at ourselves when we say, "See you next year!". Oh yes; the start of a new year is a tremendous amount of fun and joy. However, the greatest part of it all is the traditional "New Year"s Resolution". We all love seeing the endless declarations dedicated to "eating healthy", "losing weight", "being a better person", or "spending more time with people". Don't get me wrong: I love that people are trying to make a change. I...

How do you get along when you don't fit in? Just don't be a dick

I have known for a very long time that I am basically a person out of his element. Not because of who I am, but because of where I am. I grew up in a very, very, very small town in central Pennsylvania which is about as stereotypical of a place as you can imagine. The area is almost entirely farmland and corn fields, and the people are predominantly (almost entirely) Caucasian Christians. If you were curious about other things such as family values, stereotypes, and progressive ideas, just know that it is probably a ratio of 80/20 conservatives to liberals. There are things you realize about yourself when you compare yourself to others around you. For example, it seems the vast majority of kids around here love "muddin'" which is basically driving an ATV ("four-wheeler") through a bunch of mud to get dirty...I don't particularly enjoy being that dirty nor have much interest in that activity. I would say that most people in my area enjoy hunting and have a ...

One phrase that is so common, but so WRONG

As everyone knows, I am from a very small town in rural USA, and while it is a very nice place, there are definitely some things that come with that title. For one, it is very heavily white and Republican with some very long-established beliefs and norms. For instance, pleasant as some people can be, there are some low-key racist comments and thoughts as well as some strong anti-liberal language. Because of the make-up, there are a few groups that are very prominently underrepresented including LBGTQ individuals. Now, throughout my time of growing up here as well as in my adult life, there has always been one line that has absolutely driven me crazy. Because people know about my family and friends, they are certainly careful about the words they say, but the common default statement is this: "I don't care if someone wants to be gay; just don't be all in my face with it". At first glance, maybe not so bad right? I mean they do say they don't care so that is accep...